The TempestXtreme Talk Show Season 5!
by TempestXtreme
Summary: It's baaaaaaaaaccccck!! BWAHAHAH!! R&R plz!
1. Default Chapter

The TempestXtreme Talk Show! 

**Season 5 – Episode 1: Dragon Ball Madness!**

**By TempestXtreme**

**Disclaimer: I own only my own characters (Tempest, Rebecca, Eve, and the Stage Crew). Lashana and Telca belong to themselves, and Tvashtar and Kadrith belong to Lashana and Telca, as do the dragons. Robert and Sarah belong to my role-playing buddy Robert (he has his own account here: look for the pen name 'RobertPC' and read his fic! It's great!). The guests belong to their creators.**

Sarah walked into the studio, seriously wondering if she had lost her mind from spending too much time with her brothers. After all, _they_ had refused to come along to this talk show – Monty had made some excuse about seeing Zillas and Marlowe just wanted to train some more. 

_That muscle-headed guy is determined to get as strong as he can, _she thought, leaning against a wall, her arms folded over her chest.

"Hello hotty!"

_WHACK!_

Sarah lowered her fist as the idiotic male that had called her 'hotty' slumped to the ground in an unconscious heap. True, the brown-haired, blue-eyed teenager _was _beautiful – she resembled her mother Eve mostly, and inherited her beauty – but she _hated _being hit on everywhere she went. 

"Poor guy never knew what he had coming."

Eve had been watching her daughter, a smirk spreading over her lips. "Danielle's not going to be happy, though. You just KO'd one of her stage crew.

"WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!" Danielle screamed as she stormed over to them, glaring at Sarah testily. Sarah shrugged.

"He hit on me," she said casually, easily ignoring the Elf's Death Glare. Calmly straightening out her black t-shirt and smoothing out her dark blue jeans, Sarah walked off, her sneakers squeaking on the polished wooden floors. Danielle sighed and Healed the crew member, who looked around warily.

"Is that girl gone?" he asked. "She's cute, but she needs to learn to control her temper. Ow, she has a hard punch…"

Eve snickered. "That girl is my daughter," she said. "Don't worry, you're not the first male to have his senses knocked out of him. She does that to everybody who hits on her. I'm beginning to wonder if she'll ever find a boyfriend…"

The male looked at Eve, blinked, and ran off, yelling something about not getting paid enough to deal with a family of psychos. Eve chuckled.

"How many is that now?" she asked, looking at the twitching Danielle. 

"…Ten," the Elf sighed. "I have this sudden urge to Fireball somebody."

"Find Xellos," Eve said. "He's always a willing target."

Danielle stomped off, shoving anybody she encountered aside. 

Eve snickered and went off to see if their guests had arrived yet.

*-*-*-*

Goku walked into the studio, looking around. "Wow. This is a nice studio," he said, looking around. "Robert? Hey, what are you doing here? Are you a guest too?"

Eve's husband – Robert – looked behind him at the other Saiyan. "Nah. My In-laws run this show. I usually stay backstage with Eve and run security," he said, turning and walking towards Goku. "You, on the other hand, are a guest."

Goku gave Robert a strange look. "Eve's parents run a TALK SHOW?" he asked. "Why am I suddenly worried?"

"Because my parents have a tendency to go completely insane."

Eve walked up to Goku and gave him a quick hug. "Haven't seen you in a while. How are Gohan and Chi-Chi?" she asked. 

"They're OK," Goku replied. "So, who else is coming onto the show?"

"Vegeta."

"…Oh. He agreed to do this?"

Eve smirked. "It was either this or he spars with my mother," she said. "She may not look it, but she's physically strong. Besides, I doubt that Vegeta wants to be on the receiving end of an Omega Slave."

Goku looked at Robert. "What's an Omega Slave?" he asked. Robert shuddered.

"Be glad that you'll never find out," he said, remembering the time Eve got angry enough to cast the powerful spell on him. It had taken him a week to recover after that, even AFTER Eve had Healed him. 

Goku looked from the smirking Eve and the wary Robert, sweatdropped, and walked off quickly. 

"Gee, did we disturb him?" Eve asked casually, putting her arm around Robert's shoulders. Robert looked at her.

"You've been spending too much time with your mother," he said. "You're developing an evil streak."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Robert looked at the rather unholy light in Eve's eyes, swallowed hard, and teleported away using Instant Transmission.

Eve chuckled to herself and went off to find her parents.

*-*-*

Sarah leaned against a wall, thinking. Why had her parents invited her to this show? She knew that her uncle Vegeta was going to be a guest – but why did they invite her?

"Sarah? What's the matter?"

Sarah looked up at her grandmother, Rebecca Angelheart. "…Nothing," she said, pushing herself off of the wall and trying to walk past the sorceress. 

Rebecca put a hand on her granddaughter's shoulder gently. "Hey, if something's bothering you, you can always talk to me," she said. "I'm sure your parents will also want to talk to you if there's something wrong."

Sarah looked at Rebecca. "It's nothing," she repeated, walking away and leaving a confused Rebecca behind.

"What's the matter with you, Sarah?" she said to herself. 

"Rebecca! We go on air in five minutes!" one of the stage crewman called.

"All right, I'm coming!" she called back. "Just let me get changed!"

"Okay!" 

She went to her private room to get changed. 

*-*-*

Tempest took a deep breath and looked around the studio. It had been so long since he had been in here, and now he was finally going to do another show. He went through the questions that he was going to ask Vegeta and Goku – or was that Cakarot? 

Musing over the two names the Saiyan had been given – one by his Earth parents and the other by his Saiyan parents – Tempest read over the cards again, wondering if the question about whether or not Vegeta had been afraid of Frieza was going to get him blasted. 

Not that he was worried: Vegeta might've been powerful, but Tempest was stronger still. Not that he went around telling people that…

"Tempest! We go on air in two minutes!" a crewman said from outside Tempest's door. 

"All right!" Tempest called back. "Is Vegeta here yet?"

"He got here two minutes ago! He's waiting backstage!"

"Good!"

*-*-*

Vegeta leaned against a wall, eyes closed and his arms folded over his chest. _Why did I agree to do this? It's not as though I'm afraid of Eve's mother…_

"Uncle Vegeta? What are you doing here?" Sarah asked, walking up to her uncle. "Are you here as a guest?"

Vegeta looked at his niece, his expression softening. Despite his reputation as a cold, hard fighter, he cared a great deal about his family – and that happened to include Eve and her children. Besides, he and Eve had buried the hatchet a while ago, and weren't bent on beating each other to death anymore.

"Yeah, I am," he said. "Why are you here?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Sarah said, leaning against the wall and sighing. "My parents must be going senile. I'm not sure I even want to be here – every guy in the studio is giving me looks and wolf whistles, and making me feel uncomfortable."

Vegeta scowled. "If anybody tries to take advantage of you, just tell me," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'll deal with them."

Sarah looked at him. "…I can take care of myself. You know that my mother and father have been training me for years."

Vegeta was about to say something about Eve's 'training' techniques, but decided that it would be better not to risk getting glued to Xellos again. 

"And my mother's training techniques work just fine, thank you very much!" Sarah said, glaring at Vegeta testily. Vegeta sighed.

"I forgot that both your parents have a certain degree of telepathy and mind-reading skills," he said. "Although I'll admit that Eve's is stronger…"

"Vegeta! Get ready to go onstage!" a stage crewman called to the Saiyan, scooting away when Vegeta glared at him. Sarah chuckled. 

"You and my mother have more in common than you think," she said, and walked off.

"Huh?" Vegeta stared after his niece, wondering just what she meant by that.

*-*-*

Rebecca walked out on stage, wearing a stunning black mandarin dress and knee-high black boots. Her beautiful brown hair was braided, and she looked, as usual, stunning. She was vaguely aware that a portal had just opened backstage, and that Lashana, Telca, Tvashtar, Kadrith, and the three Dragons had just arrived. 

"Hello and welcome to the Fifth Season of the TempestXtreme Talk Show!" she said, smiling widely. "Here's your host, Tempest!"

"Hellooooo mama!"

Rebecca twitched. _I knew that inviting Master Roshi to the show was a bad idea, _she thought. "ROSHI! UNLESS YOU WANT TO FIND OUT JUST HOW MUCH AN OMEGA SLAVE REALLY HURTS, YOU'D BETTER **_SHUT UP!!_**"

Needless to say, the old man had no idea what an Omega Slave was.

So he didn't shut up.

"Aww, come on!" he called. "I'll show you my pad! Heh, heh, heh…"

"PERVERT!" she called, sending a barrage of fireballs at him – not caring that she blasted the rest of the audience along with him. "ROBERT! I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!"

As Rebecca stormed off stage to 'talk' to Robert, Tempest stuck his head out from backstage and looked at the crispy Roshi. "…You deserved that," he said. "Just be glad that Rebecca didn't use the Omega Slave. Else you'd be in the Other Dimension right now."

Roshi blinked and fainted, and Tempest stepped on stage.

"Uh…welcome to my show!" he said, vaguely aware of Rebecca's screaming as she tried to get past Eve to smack Robert into the floor for inviting Roshi to the show. "Today we're interviewing Goku and Vegeta, two of the most powerful Saiyan warriors to ever grace the universe!"

*-*-*

Backstage, Lashana was watching Rebecca go postal on Robert, who was backed away into a corner. Tvashtar watched warily, as did his brother. The three dragons seemed to be amused by the spectacle. 

::Elfy, your friends are all insane,:: Korin said. 

::And you let that woman stay with us?:: Kalamadea asked, watching as Rebecca broke a chair over Robert's head. Telca chuckled.

"Hey Rebecca, I think you've done enough damage! Didn't Tempest need that sandbag?" she called. Rebecca sighed and tossed the sandbag over her shoulder, not noticing that she knocked out a crewman when it hit him in the head. 

"Sorry, Robert," she said. "I just can't stand old perverts."

She wove a Healing spell on Robert and smiled at him. "No hard feelings?"

Robert gave her a wary look. "…What? No Omega Slave?"

"If I wanted to Omega Slave you, I wouldn't have used the chair and the sandbag."

Robert sighed. "Nah, no hard feelings. Sorry about Roshi, I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to hit on you."

Rebecca smirked. "I doubt that he'll try that again anyway," she said. 

"…OK, what just happened?" Kadrith said to Telca, watching Rebecca closely. "One minute she's ready to put him in a coma, the next she's having a conversation with him about some old pervert!"

::We thought that you had moodswings,:: Ahkor said.

Lashana chuckled. "Hey Becca, shouldn't you be joining Tempest on stage?"

Rebecca looked at the Elf. "He can handle himself. It's only Goku and Vegeta."

*-*-*

Vegeta glared at Goku as he showed off by flipping on stage and landing perfectly. Tempest rolled his eyes and looked at Vegeta.

"THIS is the guy that beat you?" he asked. Vegeta shrugged.

"He's not too bright, but he used to be strong," he said.  

Tempest raised an eyebrow. "He got lazy," he said. "You, however, continued to train, right?"

The Saiyan nodded. "I couldn't let my little brother get stronger than me," he said. "It just wouldn't do to get beaten by my younger brother."

Tempest smirked. "That's the kind of arrogance that will get you killed," he said. "Again."

"We're back on air!" a crewman said from backstage. "And Tempest? Your wife seems to be suffering from PMS."

_BOOM!_

"I AM NOT!" Rebecca screamed, having just fireballed the male. 

Somehow Tempest doubted that…

*-*-*

Tempest looked at the camera, grinning. "Welcome back! Let's welcome today's guests, Goku and Vegeta!" 

The audience clapped – for once of their own free will and not because they were being threatened. Sarah was in the audience, watching the show with a sudden interest. _This might be more fun than I thought…_

She turned to glare at a male that was looking at her, and he coughed and looked away nervously. _Gah, I really am beginning to wish I wasn't so beautiful…_

On stage, Goku was sitting down in a chair, as was Vegeta. Tempest waited until they were seated before beginning.

"Welcome to my show!" he said. "Vegeta, stop glaring at Goku. You two aren't trying to kill each other anymore, remember?"

Vegeta leaned back in his chair, still wondering why he had agreed to do this. Tempest looked at Vegeta, wondering what had gotten into him. 

"Anyway, Vegeta," he said. "Is it true that you were afraid of Frieza?"

Vegeta shot Tempest a scathing glare. "No!" he snapped. "Frieza was just loud and arrogant!"

Tempest smirked. "So are you."

Vegeta sputtered. "I didn't come here to be insulted!" he said, standing up, mere seconds from going Super Saiyan on Tempest.

Tempest regarded Vegeta calmly. "I apologise," he said. "I didn't mean to insult you."

Vegeta glared at him, but sat down anyway.

*-*-*

Lashana and Telca looked at each other, both of them wondering the same thing: had Tempest gone nuts? Insulting a Saiyan was like taking on a Titan: idiotic and suicidal. 

"Lashana? Is Tempest always like this?" Tvashtar asked, having not known Tempest for that long. Lashana shrugged.

"Mostly," she said. 

Kadrith was eying the arch-angel closely. "…And Lady Rebecca married him?" he asked. "Is she safe with him?"

"Of course she's safe with him!" Lashana said sharply. "He'd sooner die than hurt Rebecca – those two have always loved each other. Hell, even when Tempest disappeared, Rebecca didn't go out with any other men, she knew that Tempest would come back to her."

Telca nodded. "Becca and I didn't really see eye-to-eye at first, but she's a good person. Tempest is lucky to have her."

::Are you done voicing your personal opinions of Becca and Chicken-Boy's relationship? Vegeta is about to go postal,:: Kalamadea said. 

"Huh…?"

_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!_

"VEGETA!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" Rebecca's voice reverberated through the now-ruined studio. 

"YOUR HUSBAND INSULTED ME ONE TOO MANY TIMES!" Vegeta yelled right back at her, going Super Saiyan and stepping up to the sorceress. "What are you planning on doing about it, _woman_?!"

Rebecca scowled. "Don't talk to ME that way, Vegeta!" she said, her aura flaring. "My physical strength isn't as high as yours, but you know just how powerful my magicks are! DON'T piss me off, or you'll be on the receiving end of an Omega Slave!"

"MY STUDIO!!!"

Danielle stormed up to Vegeta, grabbing him by the ear and lifting him up to her eye level. "You idiotic Saiyan! Do you know how much this will cost to REPAIR?!"

Vegeta blinked at the blonde elf. "Uh…a lot?"

Danielle growled. "YOU are going to help me repair this studio," she said, her voice a low growl. "Else you'll find out just how powerful an Elf I really am."

Vegeta gulped. "Uh, sure!" he said, powering down. "I'll help in any way I can!"

Danielle performed a rapid mood swing and grinned at him. "Good!" she said, dropping him. "Now, you can start by digging my Bonded out of the rubble!"

Vegeta glanced at the rubble, then at Danielle's eyes – taking note of the rather pissed off look she had in them. "Uh, yes ma'am!" he said, and dashed over to start digging Grylock out.

Tempest fell over laughing. Rebecca stared at him in shock.

"That's it, Tempest's cracked," she said, and walked off what was left of the stage.

***-*-*-***

Lashana blinked at the ruins of the studio, and looked at her friends. "Uh…"

"We should be going now," Telca said quickly, opening a portal and shoving them all through it before stepping through herself and closing it right behind her. 

*-*-*

Sarah dusted herself off and blinked at the sight of her father trying in vain to reason with Danielle. 

"…You're half-Saiyan?" 

Sarah turned around and looked at the owner of the voice. "Yeah, so?" she snapped.

"You're the sexiest girl I've ever seen."

Sarah grabbed the male and put his head through a wall. 

*-*-*

Eve…just leaned calmly against a wall, smirking. "Gods I missed this," she said, her smirk turning into a wide grin. 

**The End**


	2. Eppy 2

The TempestXtreme Talk Show – Season 5, Episode 2! 

**In which Chi-Chi meets her match…**

**By TempestXtreme**

Danielle was in a good mood when she got to the studio. She was in a really, really good mood, in fact. The kind of mood where everything you see is pink-petal roses and happy little puppy dogs with shiny eyes. The kind of mood where you think that nothing will be able to ruin your day. 

Naturally, that all changed when she walked into the studio. 

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THE GODS HAPPENED TO **_MY STUDIO?!?!_**" she screamed, seeing the stage...erm…what _used _to be the stage anyway.

Every crewmember slowly turned around, and if they were capable of doing so, ran like hell. You see, there was nothing – NOTHING – in this universe quite as bad as a pissed off female Elf. Well, the wrath of the gods came close, but Danielle was worse.

Far, far worse.

Hence the reason why the studio was vacant except for one person – Chi-Chi, Goku's boss…erm…wife. No, wait, boss is a better term…

A battle aura flaring around her, Danielle stalked up to Chi-Chi, grabbed her by the collar of her dress, pulled her close, and said in a low, menacing snarl:

"What. Did. You. Do. To. My. **_STUDIO!??!_**"

Chi-Chi glared right back, slapped the Elf's hand away, and planted her hands on her hips. "Don't use that tone of voice on me, young lady!" she said. Danielle twitched.

"Young…lady…?" she said. "YOUNG LADY?!?! I'M ALMOST 350 YEARS OLD YOU IDIOTIC HUMAN!!"

_WHACK!_

Danielle rubbed her skull, her aura flaring some more. 

Then she punched Chi-Chi in the face. Hard.

"DON'T HIT ME!!" she screamed, just as Chi-Chi recovered, stormed up to Danielle, and slapped her across the face hard enough to cause Danielle's head to snap to the side. 

Danielle fireballed Chi-Chi.

Chi-Chi picked up a chair and broke it over Danielle's head.

Danielle grabbed Chi-Chi's head and put it through the stage floor.

And so it carried on, neither woman gaining an advantage…

Then Tempest walked in, blinked at the sight of the two fighting women, and said (quite stupidly):

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!?"

They both turned and _GLARED _at him. 

Tempest suddenly felt very, very small. 

They looked at each other, smirked, and approached Tempest.

He looked at them, swallowed hard, turned, and ran like hell.

"GET BACK HERE!" they both yelled in unison, running after him.

"WHAT DID I DOOOOOOOOO?!" Tempest wailed. 

*-*-*

Rebecca entered the studio, suddenly remembering that this studio was going to be torn down today and that she had yet to tell Danielle. 

"Hello? Anybody here?" she called. Seeing nobody there, she shrugged and went home.

*-*-*

Tempest was hiding from the two most psychotic women in the universe. They were literally tearing up the landscape to find him, and the only thing he could say was:

"Why me?"

**The End! BWAHAHAHAH!!!**


End file.
